Always find a purpose to guide you

Unfortunately, I am not allowed to be with you each day, Kieran, so I am unable to lisen to and talk with you about your concerns and problems. Because of that, I will on occasion offer advice about moral codes to live by. Here is another such entry.

All too often what holds us back from experiencing happiness is that we lack purpose. Without purpose, though, anything we do and everything we encounter will feel meaningless. It’s a quick route to depression, anger and trouble.

We need purpose in life to guide and excite us. If our purpose is to provide for our family, getting up early on a cold morning to go to work so there’s money to pay for food and a roof over your children’s heads is not only easier, it’s looked forward to. When troubled times come, a purpose gives us the strength to persevere.

Many people will tell you what your purpose is in life – to serve God, to help others, to serve country, to pursue the truth, and so on. They may be right. For such people, at the very least, what they profess is their purpose works for them. It may not be right for you, though…and you are the only one who can determine your purpose.

Finding purpose is easier than you might think. Begin by making a list of the people you admire (e.g., Mother Theresa, Peyton Manning, and your teacher Mr. Johnson) and list at least one character trait about them that causes you to regard them so highly (e.g. selfless=Mother Theresa, cool under pressure=Peyton Manning, caring=your teacher). Next, make a list of things you feel passionate about (e.g. sports, traveling, cancer-stricken sister). Then compare the lists. Is there something that you feel passionate about in which you can strive to uphold a character trait of one of the people you admire (e.g. a selfless person might become a coach; a caring person might become nurse who takes care of the ill)? You now have a purpose (to be a coach who selflessly mentors children so they can avoid a life of poverty or crime; to be a medical professional who ensures the ill do need needlessly suffer and are healed).

My email to you sent on Aug. 17, 2013

Here is the letter I sent to you on Aug. 17, 2013, in case you do not receive it:

Hi Kieran,

How are you doing today? I am doing fine though I miss you like crazy!

I am so glad that you’re having a busy and fun summer. That’s what summers should be about when you’re young.

It was exciting to hear that you’re learning how to swim. That’s a very important skill to have and a fun activity. I once knew how to swim, having taken swimming lessons as a young boy when just a little older than you, but I almost drowned once. Now when I go in the water I tense up and can’t swim or float very well. There are many times I wish I could go swimming, though! Have you learned how to float yet?

I also am glad to hear that you’re working on the bicycle riding. Besides being great exercise, it’s lots of fun to go whooshing down the street with the blow blowing through your hair! What color bicycle do you have?

Going to the zoos always was a favorite trip of mine, too. I like the jungle/tropics section of the Minnesota Zoo. Como Park Zoo has changed a lot since I was a little boy; in the 1960s, the animals were kept in small cages, but now they fortunately are placed in environments that are more like where they would actually live if in the wilds. What is your favorite part of each zoo?

The Blue Jays should be a good baseball game. I think the Twins actually might be able to win that one! Not that I should talk – two of my teams (The San Diego Padres and the Milwaukee Brewers) actually are doing worse than the Twins. But the Los Angeles Dodgers are in first place, and hopefully will make the playoffs this fall! Who will you be rooting for to win the World Series?

Football season also is about to start. Exhibition season, in which the players get to practice by playing games that don’t count, already are underway. Adrian Peterson says he plans to run for 2500 yards this year. Do you think he can do it?

Thank you for telling me that you enjoy seeing me. I know you do – we always have lots of fun when we get together – but it was still nice to hear anyway! I always enjoy being with you well. In fact, I am very excited because we will get to spend time together every week for the next three weeks! Our next visit is in just five days on Thursday, Aug. 22. We then get together on Friday, Aug. 30, and then on Thursday, Sept. 5. Is there anything you would like me to bring this Thursday?

Well, that is all for now. I miss and love you very much! I look forward to reading your next letter and will see you on Thursday!

Love,

Daddy

Remember our wampa action figures?

One "Star Wars" toy that we always had fun with were the action figures from the wampa scenes in "The Empire Strikes Back."

I can't recall if we bought these pieces as from a couple of different sets, but in any case we quickly combined them into one. It included a wampa, the white monster that captured Luke Skywalker, Luke himself, and his taun-taun, the dinosaur-like creature they used as a horse. I recall that pieces of raw meat that the wamp ate came with the set - yech!

We also had a Han Solo dressed up for the winter scene on Hoth (the planet where the wampa lives), so I think we combined two kits: Han Solo and the taun-taun; Luke Skywalker and the wampa.

Unfortunately, I don't remember any specific stories about playing with these toys, only that they always were part of the starfighter base that we typically built on the glass coffee table in the green house in Lancaster.

Always forgive others for wronging you

Unfortunately, I am not allowed to be with you each day, Kieran, so I am unable to lisen to and talk with you about your concerns and problems. Because of that, I will on occasion offer advice about moral codes to live by. Here is another such entry.

Once someone has wronged us, our natural reaction is to protect ourselves. This means being punitive and distrustful of the person who hurt us. We probably are angry at them and want justice served.

While we should make clear to this person that what they did caused pain and is not permissible, we cannot allow our bitterness and resentment to transform into hatred and violence. If we do, then we also become a person who wrongs others. If this chain of wronging continues, then all of us will be filled with anger and hatred for one another.

The only way to break the chain of wronging is to be forgiving. We have to let go of our anger and hatred and tell ourselves that the person who wronged us did not actually intend to or that they suffer from a calamity that led them to make a bad choice.

Forgiveness is not just a way to bring about peace in the world but is necessary to heal our own hearts. Anger destroys us emotionally by making us cynical and bitter. It destroys our physical well-being by raising our blood pressure, increasing our risk of a heart attack, and reducing our immune system’s effectiveness.

How can we forgive? We must consciously decide to forgive. Unfortunately, forgiveness usually does not happen with one bold statement. Our anger can be persistent. We must tell ourselves to forgive every time our anger flares, until the matter finally is settled in the heart.

Going to your first concert - 'The Beatles'!

Three years ago tonight you went to your first music concert - by a Beatles tribute band at the park in Palmdale, Calif.!

You always loved the Beatles (One of the many, many loves we share!), so going to the concert was a no-brainer.

The first half-hour was spent waiting for them to come on stage and goofing around with one another. Then they came on, and you tried to guess the song titles (You were fairly accurate, by the way!).

We left at intermission, after they'd played the Beatles hits through about 1965/66. By that time, it was getting way past your bedtime, and you were about to fall asleep in my arms!

Here are some photos from the concert!

A moral code to live by: the Golden Rule

Unfortunatley, I am not allowed to be with you each day, Kieran, so I am unable to lisen to and talk with you about your concerns and problems. Because of that, I will on occasion offer advice about moral codes to live by. 

Perhaps the most important rule you can follow when interacting with others is the Golden Rule – “Do unto to others as you would have them do unto you.” Virtually every culture has some version of the Golden Rule in its moral code: “Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself” (Chinese); “Do not do to others what would anger you if done to you by others” (Greeks); “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful” (India). Along with “Don’t commit murder,” the Golden Rule perhaps is the most universal of humanity’s moral axioms.

The Golden Rule is more than a “Be nice to others” stricture, though. Underlying it are the basic beliefs that every human being is of value and therefore deserves to be treated fairly. These are the foundations for human rights and justice. For example, if you believe that others shouldn’t limit your ability to speak or vote, then you cannot limit their ability to do the same. If you do limit their ability, then you must believe yourself superior to them. You then should expect that holding yourself above others will result in their resentment of you. Given this, the Golden Rule also is about reducing violence.

So before doing something that effects another, ask yourself “Would I want someone to do that to me?” If you wouldn’t like someone cutting in line in front of you, getting a better test score because they cheated, or flipping you off, then don’t do it either!

Playing Curious George computer games

The other day your cousin Rebekah was watching "Curious George" on PBS. That got me to thinking about how much you loved the show and the "Curious George" games we'd play on the computer when together.

One of those that we played was "Present Time". It was less a game than an activity. First you got to pick out who you were going to get a present for and then you selected their gift. Finally, you got to create the wrapping paper for them by coloring it and picking out the pattern!

Another game you really liked was "Mix and Paint". You could mix four different colors together and then brush it on a line drawing of one of the characters from the cartoon.

There were other games we tried as well, but "Present Time" and "Mix and Paint" seemed to be your favorites!