Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Always forgive others for wronging you

Unfortunately, I am not allowed to be with you each day, Kieran, so I am unable to lisen to and talk with you about your concerns and problems. Because of that, I will on occasion offer advice about moral codes to live by. Here is another such entry.

Once someone has wronged us, our natural reaction is to protect ourselves. This means being punitive and distrustful of the person who hurt us. We probably are angry at them and want justice served.

While we should make clear to this person that what they did caused pain and is not permissible, we cannot allow our bitterness and resentment to transform into hatred and violence. If we do, then we also become a person who wrongs others. If this chain of wronging continues, then all of us will be filled with anger and hatred for one another.

The only way to break the chain of wronging is to be forgiving. We have to let go of our anger and hatred and tell ourselves that the person who wronged us did not actually intend to or that they suffer from a calamity that led them to make a bad choice.

Forgiveness is not just a way to bring about peace in the world but is necessary to heal our own hearts. Anger destroys us emotionally by making us cynical and bitter. It destroys our physical well-being by raising our blood pressure, increasing our risk of a heart attack, and reducing our immune system’s effectiveness.

How can we forgive? We must consciously decide to forgive. Unfortunately, forgiveness usually does not happen with one bold statement. Our anger can be persistent. We must tell ourselves to forgive every time our anger flares, until the matter finally is settled in the heart.

Friday, September 14, 2012

A bit of advice: Practice Forgiveness

Throughout your life, Kieran, people will give you cause to be angry - some will be dishonest, wome will cheat you, some even will betray you. You can spend years thinking about why they did this. Such years are wasted time, though. It is best to forgive and to move on.

By "forgive" I do not mean to naively trust so you may be taken advantage of again. Instead, I mean to accept that what they have done is because of their own weaknesses - moral, emotional, spiritual, perhaps even physical. Perhaps if their lives had taken a different course years ago, they would not have wronged you or others as just have. And perhaps in the years ahead they will realize their weakness and strengthen their moral, emotional or spiritual fiber.

In the meantime, you must not let your anger and sense of hurt over their actions to rule you. You can empower yourself by forgiving them.

With that, my son, let give you some quotations about "forgiveness" to mull over and hopefully guide you:

"This is certain, that a man that studieth revenge keeps his wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well." - Josiah Bailey

“…one who was ‘forgiven little, loves little.’” - W.P. “Ab” Abercrombie

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." - Les Brown

"Never does the human soul appear so strong as when is foregoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury." - Confucius 

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe