Ask me about Jane when you see me

Well Kieran, today is the last day in my life that I'll see Jane. I'm sure you remember her; the two of you got along so well. Unfortunately, I messed up that relationship, and in doing so failed not just Jane but you. I so desperately wanted to provide you a real home with two loving parents, one where you could see what it was for a husband and a wife to love one another. I thought it would be so simple, that so long as the woman I was with wasn't like your mother that it would all work. In many ways, I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't at fault for the broken marriage with your mother, to make up for my failing to provide you with what I always wanted to give you. But I let me pride get in my way; I wasn't capable of being the kind of man who provided all that I 'd promised in my heart to you and Jane. For that, I apologize to both of you.

I really did love Jane; I didn't want her in my life just to be your proxy mother or my proxy wife. As I write this, I must admit that I still do love her. The two of you provided my life and all I did with meaning and purpose. But now you're both gone, and I've lost the two most important people in my life, all within a matter of a day.

Jane must despise me for being dishonest with her, and I know she never wants to return to my life. That will take me a long time to deal with. My only hope now is that one day you will return to me.

If we do meet again, ask me about Jane. I want to tell you stories about what how the two of you had so much fun together. I want to tell you about what a wonderful woman she was, and how I was a fool to push her away. I want to tell you this not so you will be my confessor but because I want you to never make the mistakes I did and so suffer the emptiness that I feel today.