To be happier, don't judge others

Unfortunately, I am not allowed to be with you each day, Kieran, so I am unable to listen to and talk with you about your concerns and problems. Because of that, I will on occasion offer advice about moral codes to live by. Here is another such entry.

One of the most common bad habits people have is judging others. We form opinions about them based on their accent, we pick friends based on their clothing, we make fun of people because of their political and religious beliefs.

Yet, each of us is imperfect ourselves. So in judging others, we place ourselves upon a false, higher plane and demonstrate our vanity. To someone else, though, our accent is odd, our clothes not as good, and our political and religious beliefs laughable. We probably don’t appreciate their opinion about us, so just as no one else has the right to judge us, so we shouldn’t judge others.

Judging others really only creates negativity in the world. By inferring that we are better, we arrange the landscape so that others are inferior. This only leads to others feeling hurt and ultimately to conflict as they lash back in disagreement or to reassert their equality. It causes others who consider themselves superior to assert that belief over others through oppression.

When we judge others, we ultimately judge ourselves. Through our judgment, we objectify them and in doing so objectify ourselves. The judge always is the opposite of the judged. Each of us must ask ourselves: If you do not want others to objectify you, why would you objectify yourself?

This doesn’t mean that we don’t set standards to live by. But we set them for ourselves not for others. We judge our decisions and actions – not the decisions and actions of others – against the bar of those standards. So, give yourself this challenge today: Can you live up to the standard of not judging others?

If you can, you may find yourself happier.