Remember the songs we used to sing at bedtime?

Listened to the Beatles' CD "Rubber Soul" and thought about some of the songs I used to sing you at bedtime to put you asleep, as some of those tunes are on that album.
The songs I sang changed through the years, with a lot more childrens' songs, such "I've Been Working ont he Railroad," "The Muffin Man" and "Row Row Row Your Boat" early on. But I always had Beatles songs on the playlist, especially "Ticket to Ride," Drive My Car" and "Nowhere Man."

I'd also try to sing you some of my other favorites, like "California Girls" and "California Dreamin'." I remember once when we were at California Adventure, "California Dreamin'" was playing over the loudspeakers and you asked me, "What is this song? Where have I heard it before?" Guess my singing wasn't quite like the Mamas and Papas, but you didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes you would get really upset with me, though if I didn't sing the songs in the same order that I'd done the previous few nights! I guess three and four year olds appreciate consistency. Eventually it got so that I knew when I'd reach a certian song (usually after "Yesterday"), you would be asleep!

As you grew older, you always wanted me to exclusively sing you Beatles songs. I had to go memorize some of their song lyrics just so I could sing enough of them to you.

That you wanted me to sing you asleep meant a lot to me. It meant so much that you loved the same songs as I did. It also meant a lot that you even wanted to hear me sing. I never considered my singing voice very good, but you and Jane always said you loved to hear it. Thanks for those sweet memories, Kieran.

Radio shows highlighted your favorite Beatle - Ringo!

I'm very sad that we didn't get to spend time together this past weekend so that we could listen to the various Beatles radio programs together. Sunday marked Ringo’s 72nd birthday, so all of the programs played Ringo songs galore, and of course, Ringo was your favorite Beatles the past couple of years!

“The Beatles Years” was particularly good as it told stories about how he and his father were separated (like us) when he was a little boy, how he became a Beatle, how some of his most famous Beatle songs (like “Yellow Submarine”) came to be, and his acting career.

After that, "Breakfast with the Beatles" played lots of rare Ringo songs.

Unfortunatlely, none of them played "Boys," your favorite Beatles song when you were a preschooler!

Especially when I lived and worked in San Diego, we use to listen to the Beatles radio programs whileon our way to and from museums, zoos, parks, and more. Hopefully now that you know your way around the computer, you can find some of those programs online (try TuneIn) - and know that I'll be listening to some of those same Beatles programs, too!

Two months now since we've last spoken to one another

Exactly two months have passed since we've last talked with one another. It feels like that sad day was years ago. We were counting out quarters so we could buy some ice cream at the stand across the street from our condo. I will keep this entry short because recalling that day makes me very sad. The next time we are together, we will get ice cream if you should like - a mint chocolate chip for you (if that is still your favorite) and a vanilla chocolate chip for me. It will be the best ice cream I'll have ever had, I am sure of that.

The real reasons we're being kept from speaking to one another

Another weekend has pased in which we didn't get to see - or even talk to - one another. I'm sorry, Kieran, that your mother is putting you through this. Under court order, you have the right to talk to me nightly by phone, so long as you initiate the call. Not surprisingly, your mother has not called once me during the past two months so that you could speak to me.

She will tell you that I am a danger and threat to you, but everyone who knows me will tell you this is just a cover argument, for they have trusted me with their children and have seen what a close, deep bond we have. I am no threat or danger to you and never have been. The unfortunate reality is that your mother is angry and bitter, bearing much resentment to me for my relationship with Jane, for our close bond, and for refusing to be with her anymore in marriage (When we are together again and you are old enough, I will explain why to you why your mother and I cannot be together - and know that the issue never was that I didn't love her when we were together). So, preventing you from speaking with me simply is her way of punishing me, as she knows you are the most important person in the world to me. The way to hurt me the most is to keep you and me part. What bothers me, though, isn't her anger toward me but how she is hurting you, denying you a relationship with your father who loves you so very much and who I know you love so much as well.

One day, though, you and I will be together and able to talk freely about all that has happened. Just as I instictively understand what your cries meant mere minutes after you were born, I am confident we will instantly connect again, providing each other with the love and nurturing we always gave the other. Today is difficult, for we are apart when we could be enjoying one another's company at the zoo or a museum or playing with toys with one another or me reading a book to you or us just talking with one anothr as we amble down a hiking trail, but know that I always will keep you close to my heart.

If your mother disagrees with my assessment as to why we she keeps us apart, then I ask her to prove me wrong. Allow us to speak with one another. After all, how can I be a danger or threat to you by merely speaking to you on a phone?

Remember your book 'Spaceman Sam'?

Was looking through some of your old children's books that you loved so much and came across "Spaceman Sam," a book you loved me to read to you even when you were an infant and couldn't understand the words. Part of the book's appeal was that pieces of it could be moved as Sam went through his adventure of taking a rocket into space, and you always enjoyed moving all of the controls around and opening the spaceship's door. The big surprise came at the end, though, when a you could press a button and release a spring that shot a mini rocket-shaped version of the ship into space! You would do that over and over. Some of the interactive parts of the book are a little ripped and broken, but I'll try to tape them back together for you. Maybe one day either you or I will get to read it to your children!

Your favorite TV shows as a little boy



Curious George

As you know, Kieran, I raised you during most of your toddler and preschooler years. During that time, I kept track of just about everything I could about you: your height, weight, favorite songs, favorite books to read, etc. etc. I thought one day you might want to look at such lists, to jog your memory as you recalled childhood, a period that dims over time as we find ourselves preoccupied with schoolwork, careers, lovers and eventually children of our own. Today I've included a list of your favorite TV shows - those programs you loved to watch when a toddler and preschooler.

My own favorite shows when your age included "The Flinstones," "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea," and "Star Trek," all of which were shown back-to-back every afternoon beginning about 3:30 p.m. when I was five or so. In the morning, I'd usually watch with my mom "Bewitched," "I Dream of Jeannie" or "My Three Sons." I also liked "Daniel Boone" and "The Wonderful World of Disney" during primetime and "Dark Shadows" during the early afternoon. "Casey Jones' Roundhouse" and "Captain Kangaroo" were early morning favorites (They didn't have a lot of children's shows like they do now; "Sesame Street" first went on the air when I was four!).

Anyway, here were your favorites.

Age 1
Elmo’s World (Sesame Street)
Curious George
Sid the Science Kid
Calliou

Age 2
Curious George
Super Why
Calliou
Fireman Sam
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Kipper
Franny’s Feet

Age 3
Curious George
Calliou
Star Trek (TOS, TAS)
Batman (Brave and the Bold, The Batman)
Justice League
Scooby Doo
Fireman Sam
Star Wars movies/The Clone Wars
The Six Million Dollar Man (late)
The Bionic Woman (late)
Samarai Jack
Ben 10 (late)
Beatles cartoons (late)

Age 4
Callious (early)
Phineas and Ferb
Ningago
Scooby Doo
Transformers

Fireworks we've seen together in the past

Lat night was the Fourth of July fireworks, and I was very sad that we weren't able to be together for them. This was supposed to be my year to have you for the Fourth of July.

We've seen a couple of fireworks shows before - most notably the Halloween fireworks at Legoland in 2011; we also saw the New Years Eve fireworks on Dec. 31, 2011, but a fog rolling off the ocean made watching really difficult (remember how they gave us 3-D glasses to wear so that the fireworks would look like exploding Lego bricks?).

You always begged me to take you to the Disneyland fireworks, and I promised I would when you were older - the fireworks were late at night,  and I'd knew you'd be too sleepy to really enjoy them, plus getting out of the theme park is very difficult after the fireworks, making for an extremley long night for both of us. How I wished last night that I would have taken you to those fireworks at least once...

But don't worry, Kieran - we'll see lots of fireworks in the days ahead, I promise.