Places to show you in Wisconsin

I've arrived back in Wisconsin today, Kieran, so that I can better continue the legal battle to regain custody of you, to ensure you are protected, and so ensure that we can see one another again. While I will miss California and all we could do there - Disneyland any day we like, the ocean beach, Legoland, the mountains, the many aquariums and museums, the desert hikes, the festivals galore - so long as I am with you, it doesn't really matter where we are.

I always planned to take you back to the Midwest just to show you where I'd grown up but had hoped to wait until you were a little older so it all might be a little more meaningful. I grew up on three different farms in Wisconsin - one near Plum City, another near Elmwood, and the other close to Menomonie (this is where I spent most of my childhood, from second grade until I graduated fromhigh school, and is where your grandparents still live). I'd love to show you those places and the main streets and stores in Plum City and Durand and Menomonie where my parents shopped when I was a child, and to show you the "ancestral valley" where your great-great-great-great-great grandfather and his two brothers came to Wisconsin; they being among the first pioneers in the state. I want to show you where I went to school - elementary school in Elmwood and another in Knapp,  junior high and high school in Menomonie (yes, Jane went to school there, too), and on to college in River Falls. I'd like to show you the dorms I lived in during college and my first apartment in Red Wing, Minn. (where I held my first full-time job out of college, as a newspaper reporter covering Wisconsin news), and the newspapers I worked at in Red Wing and Prescott. I'd like to take you to all of the carnivals and festivals I went to as a little boy - the Durand Fun Fest and the Dunn County Fair and the Minnesota State Fair. I'd like to show you a thousand other places that I've been to and always wanted to go to but never did.

We will do all that and more one day. Don't be discouraged, my son - time is on our side.

Building Bioncles at Legoland

Remember how we used to build and then play with Bioncles at Legoland in San Diego? Sometimes we'd spend an hour there trying to construct the robots and then would make up these elaborate stories as our good and bad guys battled one another (Usually ending with my bad guy falling into the trash compactor if I recall!).

The last time we were at Legoland was New Years Eve for the fireworks. That day, we sat at a table with another father and his two children, all constructing and playing with the Bioncles together. Anyway, yesterday he sent us pictures of you and me that he took that night. More than seven months had passed sinced then, and I figured either the photos didn't turn out or he'd lost my email address. I've posted a couple of the photos here.

One time I purchased for us two set sof Bioncles that we could. When we got back to our trailer in Encinitas, you wanted tobuild them, and so we each started on a package. I was certianI would have to help you, but you followed the directions all on your own and constructed the Bioncle in no time flat! I was so proud of you, of how you looked so closely at the pictures, and even after making a mistake, backtracked and relooked at the instructions, only to put it together correctly all on your own.

I can't wait until we're together again to build (and battle) more Bioncles. This time Lord Zoltar will be victorious and conquer the Earth!

Do you still love 'Star Wars'?

Heard a report on NPR about an effort to "Save Tatooine" and instantly thought of you! The sets for Tatooine, specifically Luke Skywalker's aunt and uncle's homestead and the area where the Jawas and the Sand People attack the droids, were built in and filmed in Tunisia. Some "Star Wars" fans often go there to see those sights. But recently a fan found that the house was rapidly falling apart - and so he started an effort to raise money for fixing Luke Skywalker's house. He succeeded, too! A very admirable man, he is, for helping to save something that is so important to so many people.

You were a big "Star Wars" fan as a preschooler. Remember how we used to collect "Star Wars" action figures? Watch it on TV and DVD together? Have light saber battles? Or you'd dress up as a Obi-Wan Kenobi when we went to California Adventure and together we'd pretend to fight battle droids inthe Redwood Creek obstacle course? One Halloween you even went as Luke Skywalker and I as Darth Vader for trick or treat!

I saved some of the action figures as well as some of those comic books for you. I also have our two light sabers - many great "battles" for control of the universe await us!

Some advice for you, my son

I know, Kieran, that you must feel a great emptiness not having a father in your life. I certainly feel a great emptiness without my son in my life.

When one feels such emptiness, often bitterness sets in, and to release those feelings, we lash out at others or their property. By doing so, though, we only hurt ourselves far more than we do the other person. That may not be apparent at first as the other person cries or their possessions lay broken, but in the long run we lose the love and trust of them when we behave this way. I speak from personal experience, and when we are together again, I will explain all of those incidences to you should you wish. The one example I'm sure you will be familiar with, though, is Jane, who we both loved very dearly but who through my anger I drove away.

Do not harden your heart, Kieran. I know that is easier said than done. But I will be there again to fill the void  that our forced separation has temporarily created in both of our lives - and I emphasize the word temporarily because each and every day I and your grandparents are working within the limits of the law to correct this egregious error that others have committed to harm our well-being. So remain strong and remain kind and loving to others - even to those who have done you wrong - for in the long run that will serve you far better than taking the easy way out, which is bitterness, anger and a hardened heart.

Discovering some true glories of nature

Drove through the Rocky Mountains in Colorado today, Kieran. We went through them together twice, in September 2008 and then a few weeks later in October, when you were just a toddler. I remember the first time you saw the mountains - we had just driven off the horrendously flat Great Plains and you were amazed at how the rocks and hills shot straight up, seemingly forever, into the sky. I sat next to you in the back seat (you were in your car seat), and you kept looking wide-eyed at me and pointing to the vertical rock faces then would crane your head to try to see their tops. It was a joyous moment for me, to share your awe with you and to watch you discover one of the true glories of nature. That day I, too, seeing you, got to watch one of the true glories of nature as well.

Our Sunday breakfasts at Denny's

Ate breakfast at Denny's in Cedar City, Utah, Friday morning and had our favorite - the country fried steak and eggs. Remember when we used to eat Sunday breakfast at Denny's in Encinitas? We'd often split the country fried steak and eggs. You so loved the gravy! No matter how much I gave you, you always wanted more, too!

While waiting for the meal to come, we'd play together with some toys, usually something we'd purchased the day before at wherever we went (often it was Disneyland) or something we'd dug out one of the many totes of your toys I had in the storage shed. We usually had a waiter who also was a father of young kids, and even if we weren't at his table, he'd stop by to see where we'd been the day before and were going that day. You'd usually show him your new toys.

The last time we went there was in December 2011, just before I moved back to Palmdale/Lancaster. I remember you asking me, "Is that the last time we'll ever eat there, Dad?" and when I said "Probably it will be," you were so sad.

Well, I was sad that you weren't with me at breakfast today. One day, though, we'll be together again, and I've got a plate of country steak and eggs at Denny's with our name on it!

Wishing you could join me for this hike

Traveled through Valley of Fire State Park today in Nevada, and sure wish you would have been with me. You would have loved it - there were cool red rocks to clamber over (see picture at right), a petrified tree, and a great visitor center with live snakes, lizards and tarantulas (all safely kept behind glass) that you so much liked to see when we stopped at park visitor centers on our hikes. The Valley of Fire also is where they filmed the famous scene from "Star Trek VII" in which Captain Kirk dies. It would have been hot - it was 106 degrees - but with the air conditioned car, I think you'd have been okay.

You actually have been to Valley of Fire State Park before - It was in September 2008 when you weren't quite 1-1/2 years old, so I don't imagine that you remember it. The day was unbearably hot, and the wind kept sweeping sand into our eyes, so you didn't much like it. I carried you that day outside the vehicle to see some formation.

When we're together again, I will add the Valley of Fire to the list of places we must visit together. Perhaps it can be tour of "Places We've Been Together Out West" that lasts a couple of weeks. I'm sure we'll have lots to catch up on!