One of my regrets in being kept apart from you, my son, is that I'm not there to listen to you when problems arise. You're rapidly approaching that age when other people's seemingly inexplicable behavior leads you to wonder what to do and why they behave that way, when the black and white ethics of childhood that says what one's parents dictate as right all so often proves inadequate. I myself am facing that difficult choice today about someone I deeply love and care about.
You'll notice that I didn't say "answer your questions" when you face such problems, because often after explaining them to someone you love and trust, you'll ask, "What should I do, Dad?" or "What should I do, Grandma?" If dad and grandma are wise, they won't give you a lecture about what to do but instead will ask you a series of questions to help you wrap your head around the problem. You're a good, intelligent kid, and you probably have the answer inside you; you just needed someone to help you think through it and listen to you, just to show that someone cared. That's what you really wanted - and needed - after all.
I wish I could be there to listen to and help you think through the problem. In my absence, let me simply ask you, "What would you want someone to do to or for you if you were in that situation?" The answer probably is what you should do for that person. It's basically the Golden Rule: Do unto others as they would do unto you. Treat others as you expect to treat them. To wit, if your friend is getting robbed of his lunch money by the school bully, and you're wondering what to do, ask yourself what you want a friend to do if you were the kid getting robbed of his lunch money.
I don't know if that really helps. A problem almost always is more complicated to resolve than what I've described. But it's a good question to ask. Just look at a picture of me, tell me what's on your mind knowing that if I really were physically there I'd listen with as much attentiveness, and know the first question I'd ask is "What would you want someone to do to or for you if you were in that situation?" I'm betting that you probably know what is the right thing to do.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
You're in the newspaper again!
Your name and picture again appeared in a newspaper this week, this time the Hudson (Wis.) Star-Observer. It was a story about my new hiking book. Of course, your picture is on the cover of my two hiking books, and your name appears in the article.
You've been in a lot of newspapers and articles since being born. Guess it has something to do with me being in journalism and promoting my books, but it also has something to do with you being one damn cute kid.
When I was the editor of the paper in Crescent City, Calif., your picture appeared twice, once with an article I wrote about hiking a trail there and the other as part of a lifestyles story about parents getting help with thier children. You were an infant in both instances. Later that same year, your photo appeared in the Halloween contest section of the Eureka, Calif., newspaper.
When we live in Palmdale, you got in the the local paper, The Antelope Valley Press, with us looking at planes during a monthly Mojave air show.We also appeared a couple of times in the California City, Calif., paper that covered the air show.
And you've been in tons of newspapers (and on blog sites) in association with my hiking books. Among them is the Dunn County (Wis.) News and the North County Times out of Esconido, Calif.
I've saved all the clippings I could find. Can't wait to show them to you one day!
You've been in a lot of newspapers and articles since being born. Guess it has something to do with me being in journalism and promoting my books, but it also has something to do with you being one damn cute kid.
When I was the editor of the paper in Crescent City, Calif., your picture appeared twice, once with an article I wrote about hiking a trail there and the other as part of a lifestyles story about parents getting help with thier children. You were an infant in both instances. Later that same year, your photo appeared in the Halloween contest section of the Eureka, Calif., newspaper.
When we live in Palmdale, you got in the the local paper, The Antelope Valley Press, with us looking at planes during a monthly Mojave air show.We also appeared a couple of times in the California City, Calif., paper that covered the air show.
And you've been in tons of newspapers (and on blog sites) in association with my hiking books. Among them is the Dunn County (Wis.) News and the North County Times out of Esconido, Calif.
I've saved all the clippings I could find. Can't wait to show them to you one day!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Excerpt from essay I wrote about hiking, fatherhood and you
I've been going through my files and found a wonderful essay, "Leap into the Void," that I wrote in January 2010. It is to be the lead essay in my book "Trails and Trials: Tribulations of Being a Father" in which various hikes I go on with you serve as metaphors or analogs for the insecurities and growth one undergoes in fatherhood.
Other matters have sidetracked me from working on the book, but I have each of the essays outlined; this is the only one that is finished. I plan to eventually complete the other ones. For the moment, though, I'd like to include a bit of it here for you:
We stepped over boulders that diverted the creek away from the cliffside, then headed right up to the wall. I placed my hand upon it, realized how delicate the formation really was as sandstone rubbed off beneath my palm. Wind and rain – though more of the latter than the former in the desert – over millennia had picked holes in the Narrow’s walls, like my hand hollowing out the canyonsides a few grains at a time. I grinned like a child making a new discovery. Up close, the rock really was more gray than white; the gleaming bright walls were another optical illusion. Still, there were plenty of white splotches, or leached calcium carbonate, which water easily had flushed between the formation’s individual sand grains down through the ages.
Kieran pressed against my back, stretched his hand toward the canyon wall. I turned to the side so he could reach it. His fingers ran against the siltstone, and he squealed with delight.
My eyes followed the canyon wall upward past the pockmarks and the barren tops. The moon, as white as the sunlit rock above us, hung motionless in the turquoise sky. Now there would be a hike to take, I thought, a walk on the moon, bounding gleefully at the edge of ancient craters, the stars above sharper than any man had ever seen them before, on a fantastic journey in which humanity finally left its womb called Earth.
Other matters have sidetracked me from working on the book, but I have each of the essays outlined; this is the only one that is finished. I plan to eventually complete the other ones. For the moment, though, I'd like to include a bit of it here for you:
We stepped over boulders that diverted the creek away from the cliffside, then headed right up to the wall. I placed my hand upon it, realized how delicate the formation really was as sandstone rubbed off beneath my palm. Wind and rain – though more of the latter than the former in the desert – over millennia had picked holes in the Narrow’s walls, like my hand hollowing out the canyonsides a few grains at a time. I grinned like a child making a new discovery. Up close, the rock really was more gray than white; the gleaming bright walls were another optical illusion. Still, there were plenty of white splotches, or leached calcium carbonate, which water easily had flushed between the formation’s individual sand grains down through the ages.
Kieran pressed against my back, stretched his hand toward the canyon wall. I turned to the side so he could reach it. His fingers ran against the siltstone, and he squealed with delight.
My eyes followed the canyon wall upward past the pockmarks and the barren tops. The moon, as white as the sunlit rock above us, hung motionless in the turquoise sky. Now there would be a hike to take, I thought, a walk on the moon, bounding gleefully at the edge of ancient craters, the stars above sharper than any man had ever seen them before, on a fantastic journey in which humanity finally left its womb called Earth.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Recall reading 'Do Not Open This Book!'?
At the library, I checked out a bunch of children's books that I am reading to your cousin while visiting her family; most of the books are ones that I once read to you and that you liked. Sure wish you were here to enjoy them, too.
One of the books was "Do Not Open This Book!" It's about a pig who's writing a book, except you the reader keep turning the pages before he can get it written! The pig tries to keep you from bothering him. There's one neat page where you get to fill in the blank with your name, and the pig insults you to make you go away. In the end, though, the pig realizes you've actually helped him write a book!
It's a big derivative of "The Monster at the End of the Book" (I'll have to write an entry for that one another day) but is unique and fun enough that it stands on its own.
When we're finally together, I'll have to check it out for you so we can read it once again!
One of the books was "Do Not Open This Book!" It's about a pig who's writing a book, except you the reader keep turning the pages before he can get it written! The pig tries to keep you from bothering him. There's one neat page where you get to fill in the blank with your name, and the pig insults you to make you go away. In the end, though, the pig realizes you've actually helped him write a book!
It's a big derivative of "The Monster at the End of the Book" (I'll have to write an entry for that one another day) but is unique and fun enough that it stands on its own.
When we're finally together, I'll have to check it out for you so we can read it once again!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Remember our many Play-Doh sets?
You always loved Play-Doh when a preschooler. What kid doesn't, though? As an adult, its aroma is the scent of childhood, in an instant can flood the head with a thousand wonderful memories of its innocence.
You had four wonderful Play-Doh sets that I purchased for you - one to make hamburgers, a second to make Star Wars figures, another to make ice cream cones, and a fourth to make Transformers characters. You loved each one in turn and could spend up to an hour rolling the Play-Doh through your tiny hands and squishing it into the casts that came with each set.
We also had lots of Play-Doh colors and implements that I purchased separately for you. With them, we could make penguins and sharks and turtles as well as spell out your name. You always liked the orange plastic scissors and would cut up the Play-Doh slabs into smaller pieces.
As you grew older, you'd make me Happy Meals with the hamburger set, create an army of Transformers to battle one another, and pretend you were one of the Beatles making ice cream for another of his band mates. I think we had more fun playing with your Play-Doh creations than you did making them!
You had four wonderful Play-Doh sets that I purchased for you - one to make hamburgers, a second to make Star Wars figures, another to make ice cream cones, and a fourth to make Transformers characters. You loved each one in turn and could spend up to an hour rolling the Play-Doh through your tiny hands and squishing it into the casts that came with each set.
We also had lots of Play-Doh colors and implements that I purchased separately for you. With them, we could make penguins and sharks and turtles as well as spell out your name. You always liked the orange plastic scissors and would cut up the Play-Doh slabs into smaller pieces.
As you grew older, you'd make me Happy Meals with the hamburger set, create an army of Transformers to battle one another, and pretend you were one of the Beatles making ice cream for another of his band mates. I think we had more fun playing with your Play-Doh creations than you did making them!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Our hike into an extinct volcano
As I promote my new hiking book, I find myself thinking a lot about all of the great hikes we've gone over the years. One of my favorites is at Amboy Crater, an extinct volcano in California's Mojave Desert, that we hiked in spring 2009. I've got a photo album of it at my Facebook site.I carried you on my back in a child carrier to and from the volcano (in the photo at upper right, you can see the cone on the right side of the horizon), but once we got inside the cinder cone, I let you out. You had a blast running around the crater floor, which was covered in soft clay and hard black basalt. You'd pick up the basalt rocks and throw them and look at every bug that moved around.
It was quite a neat thought to think our playground for the afternoon was the center of a volcano that a few thousand years ago had spewed lava for miles around!
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Your favorite CD as a preschooler
Oftentimes you'd sing along to the CD, and once or twice I caught you humming one of the melodies.
You actually had memorized what number was what song, so if you asked to hear a specific title, and I fiddled around trying to find it, you'd say something like "It's No. 8"!
Your favorite tracks changed through the couple of years we had the CD and were together, but through it all you preferred No. 5 the most - "Boys" sung by Ringo. Here are the lyrics:
I been told when a boy kiss a girl
Take a trip around the world
Hey, hey (Bop shuop, m'bop bop shuop)
Hey, hey (Bop shuop, m'bop bop shuop)
Hey, hey, (Bop shuop) yeah, she say ya do (Bop shuop)
My girl says when I kiss her lips
Gets a thrill through her fingertips
Hey, hey (Bop shuop, m'bop bop shuop)
Hey, hey (Bop shuop, m'bop bop shuop)
Hey, hey, (Bop shuop) yeah, she say ya do (Bop shuop)
Well, I talk about boys
Don't ya know I mean boys
Well, I talk about boys, now
Aaahhh, boys
Well, I talk about boys, now
What a bundle of joy!
[Alright, George!]
My girl says when I kiss her lips
Gets a thrill through her fingertips
Hey, hey (Bop shuop, m'bop bop shuop)
Hey, hey (Bop shuop, m'bop bop shuop)
Hey, hey, (Bop shuop) yeah, she say ya do (Bop shuop)
Well, I talk about boys
Don't ya know I mean boys
Well, I talk about boys, now
Aaahhh, boys
Well, I talk about boys, now
What a bundle of joy!
Oh, oh, ah yeah boys
Don't ya know I mean boys?
Ooh, boys
Ah ha
Well I talk about boys now
Can't wait until we're together again to listen to the CD again!
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